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Just a hello :o)

Seeing that we haven't had a post in a while I decided to post this simple Hello and Welcome to everone that is new to the group.

Don't be shy. You got a funny story or even a sad one. You want to introduce your self or simply say Hi.

Don't be shy and post a little message. :o)

We only bite if you ask us politly :o) *Big Grin*

Hello :)

Hi everyone, just joined,
My partner and I have been poly in "theory" for almost 2 years now. In the past month I have been asked out on a date, and he has expressed interest in a girl at work.. It seems weird that out of no where this would happen with little to no effort on our part(s). We are both happy for each other, and are toally at ease with the other person going on a "date". However, there has recently been a bit of the "drama".

:/Collapse )

How Do I Teach My Man to Fish?

C, I did it again...

I’ve been fully polyamourous for about a year now, I guess. My husband for most intents and purposes remains mono. Or, perhaps a poly virgin? I suppose until he consummates his polyhood and actually has sex with a secondary, I can call him that. This is his choice. He’s a very introverted, and shy geek who enjoys coding from the basement he shares with me and has a hard enough time making friends with girls even to talk, let alone anything else. His major needs are also largely met by me. This isn’t hubris, or ego, he’d tell you the same thing if you asked him. I guess my sex drive has always been slightly more robust than his (although sex, of course, is by far not the only benefit I derive from my secondary.)Read more...Collapse )


Hello wonderful people....

I'm very glad this community was started... I tend to be a bit of a lurker, so I've been hanging around the polyamory community for a while, but never joined. This place seems a bit more low key, so I'm excited to hang out, share my story, and get advice from people who will actually understand. (I live in Montana, so there's not a lot of like-minded folks that I know of around here.) *laugh* I'd say give advice too, except I'm really not sure how good mine would be.

I'm a female, 23, and a crazy cat lady. :) I'm a probably a bit different in that I never identified as poly when I was growing up (was raised in a fairly strict, Christian/Native American religion based, very mono household), and this is a turn that has really only come up since March of this year. Three years ago in college, I began dating my husband, but also fell for a guy that I'd very briefly done the "highschool dating" thing with about 3 years before that. Since then, my relationship with my husband developed and I was never able to shake the feelings I had for this other guy, although I tried many times. There was a lot of hurt that was dished out during this, and it really came to a head in March. My husband and I got married in June of this year, so I was not wanting to start my marriage with that kind of emotional baggage. In March, we finally talked about the possibilities of having loving relationships with more than one person, and it was like a heavy weight had been lifted from my heart.

Of course there have been still more complications since then. I don't have an intimate relationship with my other love right now, and perhaps never will, although I would still consider him my secondary/significant other. My husband occasionally is very threatened by him (I should mention all three of us are very tightly knit friends, and we are all close, although my affection for both of them occasionally throws a wench in the works), and needs to be reassured. There is also the interesting question of configuration. Both my husband and other interest would prefer to turn this into a quad (other interest needs to find his own gf) set up as two primary-secondary relationships, while I would be quite content in a triad if things could be worked out to the satisfaction of all of us. (That's very selfish of me, I know, since I'm the one in the middle.) The other interest and I are not allowed to let our relationship progress further (physically) until my husband also has that chance. We're all going very slow and feeling things out.

Has anyone ever been in a situation where some partners want a configuration that another is not sure about? And how did that situation get resolved? Advice, comments.... on any of this is appreciated. :)

Intros rock!

So . . . I'm a 25yo woman living in rural maine with some good friends and lovers. I've never had a monogamous relationship and I can't see ever wanting one- so, I think that clears up my qualifications. On the same theme, though, I've recently left a long-term relationship because I didn't want for myself everything that comes with being "a couple."  But he's still my lover. I've also never identified as straight, gay, bisexual, etc . . . though queer is a pretty comfy fit.

I like to study herbal medicine and wild edibles. I like to effect cultural change. I'm as much an instigator as I am an agitator, and organizer doesn't even come into it. Still, I love getting together the different different folks to see what we can brew up.

I don't much like categories- for me almost everything interesting is at the micro or macro level; for instance, one person's amazing uniquenesses, or how those are part of the big pattern of life on Earth. Not so much whether the person is part of a medium-sized group, like, I'll admit, "young polyamorous folk". Still, I think this whole adventure is a great idea that I'll come to value quite a lot- just not an idea I would have come up with on my own.

Love to all the other explorers!



I enjoyed reading the other intros, especially as I recognized people from polyamory.

I am 29 and together with another woman. my first relationship with a woman started out as a multiple-relationship-set-up (this was 2,5 years ago). I never had a relationship with a man, but I am bi.

I consider myself poly independently of the number of people I am or my lovers are dating.

Another Intro

ooo. do I get to leave an intro post too? neato.

I'm 23, and have recently discovered the concept of polyamoury through a close friend. Being who I am, I immediately got onto community boards and found books to read and disseminate to understand how my philosophy could work in practice. I am happy to say that is has allowed me to continue an off again, on again relationship with a love of mine who is currently on the opposite coast of me. we love too much, and it tends to spill over. through open eyes to the world and its possibilities, I met a wonderful man with whom to be close, intimate friends. I hate other terms, like friends with benefits and such as they seem crass. We respect and trust each other and I love him, but not in that gooey romantic way. so I was all set and comfy, and then I met J. *gooey sigh*. so yeah. nothing textbook here. a general SO in CA who is interested in more out there, an intimate friend with his own SO, and an east coast romantic interest.

I look forward to making friends in the community and learning much as I go through this next phase of my life. :)

Aug. 20th, 2007


Another new member, with an intro post.

I'm a 25 (26 on Wednesday!) year old female in central Florida in with 2 male partners.

One is llyr_deshmiriai, who is also 25. We have been blissfully together for just over 5 years now, although we were monogamous for the first 3 or so years of our relationship.

Almost a year ago, I met and fell madly in love with iron_4125, who is 20. He had never been in a poly relationship before, and was only mildly familiar with the concept. We started out as FWB, but he was unsure as to whether or not he could/would be able to be in a full-on committed relationship with a poly person who was already involved with someone else.

Happily, he got to know llyr_deshmiriai, things evolved, and we became an "official" committed pairing, very much in love.

The bonus? iron_4125 actually came to terms with his bisexual side (which he had not before) and ended up falling in love with llyr_deshmiriai, and he with him.

So the three of us now live together and have made a very happy, harmonious home together.

At the moment, we are... well, PARTIALLY a polyfidelitous arrangement.

llyr_deshmiriai and I have been together for quite some time, been through hell and back together, and have an extremely stable, secure base for our relationship. I have no issue with him dating others outside of our triad.

However, we reached the mutually beneficial agreement that for the time being, iron_4125 and I will not be dating outside of our present triad.

The reasons for this are multiple, but include the fact that iron_4125 and I are still in the process of building a stable, solid basis for our relationship, and find it best to concentrate on the present circumstances in order to facilitate that, particularly since our particular pairing has been the subject of lots of opposition from outside sources. (Long story.)

Also, I have no particular need or inclination to look for additional partners right now, as even just two takes lots of time and care. (Although it's worth every bit of it.)

Anyway, that's us, and I look forward to participating in this community in the future.

Happy Monday!

Aug. 20th, 2007

Hi! I'm 24, bi, engaged female poly. Whew, what a mouthful.

What an exciting community! It was only yesterday that I was wishing I would find something like this and then, magically, I did!

Currently it's just me and my boy (he's mono, I'm not) but I'm very much seeking a girlfriend. The hardest part of it all seems to be meeting girls these days who aren't going through the "i'm only doing this because my boyfriend will think it's hot type of thing." It seems like so many girls these days are only claiming to be bi because guys think it's hot. I'm more looking to add another relationship to my life and while yes, Jim will think it's hot, that is not why I'm doing it. I really crave a female relationship right now, and while I'm not opposed to meeting a boyfriend, it's a girl that I'm actively seeking.

Jim (my fiancee) doesn't really want anyone else, but he's been so supportive of my need to be poly that I feel blessed. E


I just saw the link to this community in the regular polyamory community. I think it's a great idea. A lil' about me...

26 y/o bi female with two partners; hubby (married 2 years) and boyfriend, currently live alone whilst the hubby is in grad school (LDR - very recent, still getting used to it). Boyfriend and I have been together 4 months and feeling great about things (ahhh NRE!) I also see another woman more casually, but we have a nice friendship that includes great sex and great conversation.

Here is something to respond to that relates somewhat to our being younger and polyamorous.

I was reading the book by Dr. Deborah Anapol called Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits. A lot of good information in there, but one comment she made in particular really put me off. She said she felt that couples shouldn't explore polyamorous relationships until after they'd been together for 10 years. That really miffed me for a number of reasons (what about single poly folks???) but mostly because my husband and I met and decided to be open right from the start of our relationship. So I don't see that as a feasible or even reasonable request, seeing as all individuals are different with different needs.

Any thoughts or responses to this? Just curious if anyone else read that and what their response was.


poly & poly-curious people in their teens and 20s

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