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Hello people,
   As one of those shy new members, I thought I'd stop lurking and introduce myself. I'm 24, live in the UK, am gay and in my first poly-type relationship. It's been a mad 12 months, which has seen me going from happily single, to having two lovely girlfriends. I get the impression that my entry into this situation is perhaps unorthodox, if such a notion applies to polyamory. I've never really felt a strong pull to having multiple partners, which many people seem to have. Also, I've ended up in some kind of crazy quad in a manner I can only describe as arse about face.

To summarise briefly: I've been good friends with a couple for about 6 years now. Originally went to uni with E (the boy half), and met his g/f of 10 years, S, through him. About 18 months ago it became apparent that S and I were very strongly attracted to each other. Cue Shakespearean tragedy: "We can't!" "We mustn't!" "We shouldn't!"....eventually what we did do was come clean to E about our feelings, and he was very supportive. They agreed to open up their relationship and me and S were officially an item. Obviously it wasn't *quite* that simple, but it was the start of something. A little while after things had settled down, I met K, who instead of being freaked out when I told her I had a g/f, was very intrigued. About three months after we got together I had to go to the US for a month to study. While I was away, she and E realised they fancied each other - and while I initially felt quite pissed off about it all (behind my back, no discussion, etc., etc.) it seems to be self-organising itself out of chaos and into something quite nice. Anyway, that's my story.

I don't really know anyone in 'real life' who has any positive experiences of anything poly. Pretty much all of my friends are so overly concerned about me (read 'convinced I'm going insane and this is going to be a total disaster')  that it's actually quite hard talking to them about the day to day upsets. And as lovely as S, K and E are, sometimes it's nice to sound off to people who are not so closely entangled in it all, just to get some perspective. Anyway, I've enjoyed reading other people's posts so far...I look forward to sharing some more stories of my own in the future.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 30th, 2007 09:11 pm (UTC)
Welcome to the group. It's fun to see some people that are from a different continent. :) Had a lovely 6month trip to Kingston upon Hull last year. Nice hearing from UK folk :)

Again Welcome
Nov. 2nd, 2007 04:20 pm (UTC)
Hey, and welcome! I think it's perfectly normal to develop new interests. It can become somewhat complicated when the new interests develop new interests of their own... I've been there. :)) It's hard.

I hope you meet lots more people who will be supportive. I have two non-poly close friends, who were clued in. One of them used to think it's terrible and dangerous, but the more she learned about it the more she understood. Now she is just supportive and doesn't shy away from it. But it did take a year! Another friend... well, she's considering an open relationship herself... :) So, it's possible, though it may take a while. Best of luck to you!
Nov. 2nd, 2007 04:23 pm (UTC)
PS For context, my partner and I are bi used to have a casual relationship/ friendship with another bi F/m couple. It was quite positive, actually, and though it no longer exists I wasn't fundamentally hurt by that. Now we are dating a wonderful guy and it resembles a poly setup more than the other one. So, again, it's definitely possible, though it takes a bit of work.
Nov. 3rd, 2007 06:59 pm (UTC)
I shall take that offer of luck and run with it - I feel I may need it at some point! ;o)

I'm hoping that as I open up to more folk about my relationship status it'll eventually just become less of a novelty. I think many of my friends worry because they think I have somehow changed, whereas for me, this is nothing about my internal identity. I know some people genuinely feel that they are poly - but for me I'm just in a poly-relationship. I never felt something was missing before I was in this relationship, and I don't feel like anything is missing now. Alas. I'm just the same boring me I've always been. :o)
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


poly & poly-curious people in their teens and 20s

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